I've been doing a lot of thinking about prayer lately... more specifically the way I pray. Do I really give God the proper respect? Do I come to prayer in awe of him, or am I coming flippantly only to present my requests before him and expect him to take care of them? It seems to me that I too often forget the majesty of who I'm talking to and treat him as just another friend to listen to my woes.
I read something the other day that really stepped on my toes. It talked about the warmth and intensity of our prayers when they concern someone we love or something that deeply matters to us. I seem to be able to pray persistently and intensely when someone I love is hurting, sick or in trouble... or when a situation in my life desperately needs attention... but does the intensity of those prayers really mean that God matters to me? No... it simply means that the subject matter of my prayers matters to me. It means that the intensity of my prayers were not born of God's presence, or of my faith in Him, or of my longing for Him, or even my awareness of Him... it was born of nothing but my concern for that person or that situation in my life... not for God.
I've been trying to be more aware of my prayers lately... and pray more intentionally instead of just throwing my prayers at God. It's not easy when it's not something you've practiced all your life. I want my prayers to be born out of my love for God and my desire to communicate with him and deepen my relationship with him. I want to be thinking more about God when I pray and less about the situations or people I'm praying for.
blessings... ~c